Echoes of a Scream
by Merlin71
Summary: Something strange is happening on Atlantis, and things aren't always what they seem. Oh...and Shep gets whumped again. Go figure.
1. Chapter 1

_Summary: Something strange is happening on Atlantis, and things aren't always what they seem. Oh..and Shep gets whumped again. Go figure._

**ECHOES OF A SCREAM**

John was on page 36 of War and Peace when the lights went out. He cursed, jerking upright in reaction, dropping the book on the bed. He figured their back up power would kick in momentarily, but just in case he leaned over the side of the bed, reaching under it for his gear. Unerringly he grabbed his P90 and pulled it up, hitting the light switch. Several more seconds passed and he was still shrouded in darkness. John located his earpiece and tucked it into place. "Dr. Weir this is Sheppard. Got power?"

Her reply crackled back. "No, major. I'm in the dark. I take it you are too."

"Yep. Where are you?" John was slipping on his flak vest as he spoke.

"In my office. Sgt. Bates is with me."

John strapped on his thigh holster and checked his hand gun. Now he was ready to go exploring. "Heard anything from McKay?"

Another crackle and McKay's voice came through. "Can you hear me now?" he taunted, letting Sheppard know he had been listening. "And before you ask, no...I don't have any power. Which is odd, because the backup generators should have kicked in."

"Ford?" John called for his second in command.

"Here, sir."

"Where are you, Lieutenant?" Even as he asked, John was out of his room and heading down the corridor.

A moment of silence, a thud and a curse word, then, "I'm in the galley, sir."

John thought a minute. "Okay...gear up and head for McKay. You're closest. See if the two of you can figure out what happened and get the lights back on."

"What would you like me to do, Major?" Teyla's voice piped in. "I am in the North section near the workout arena."

"Check things out there while making your way towards the infirmary," John replied. "No doubt people are gonna get hurt in the dark. Dr. Beckett...you there?" John headed for the nearest staircase. His room was off by itself so he knew no one would be there. He would search his section then make his way towards the control room, checking things out as he went. There was a generator room in this section as well.

"I'm here," replied the Scotsman. "And I've already got two patients. So a little bit of light and power would be helpful."

McKay's voice crackled over the radio. "You think?" He was out of sorts and his tone was sharp.

John heard the sound of tin foil and knew McKay had to be opening a power bar. He said nothing but chuckled to himself. Nothing would ever stop the scientist from eating. "Dr. Weir...stay put. I'll have the rest of my men searching in grids and I want everyone to head for either control or the infirmary if the power doesn't come back on ASAP. Understood?" He got a chorus of _Yes sirs_. "And observe radio silence unless absolutely necessary. We want to keep all channels open in case of an emergency." With that John tapped off and entered the stairwell. He headed for below.

Rodney was miffed. He hated the dark, not that he was totally in the dark since he had his heavy duty, battery operated, flashlight clutched in his arms. But it didn't cut through much of the darkness and he felt like he was going to be swallowed up by it soon. "Where the hell is Ford?" Rodney muttered to himself.

"Here, sir."

"Dammit!" Rodney jumped a foot and nearly lost his light. "Don't do that, Lieutenant!" he hissed at the young man. Who had moved to stand in front of him now. Ford was dressed in, mostly, full gear and had his P90 in hand. "Where have you been?"

Ford shrugged. "Had to get my gun, Dr. McKay. Ready to go?"

Rodney muttered something rather unflattering beneath his breath, but nodded. "Let's get this figured out." He stalked off then realized it might be safer to let Ford lead the way. After all, he was the marine. "After you, Lieutenant," McKay offered, with a sweep of his hand.

"Yes, sir," Ford replied. He rolled his eyes as he passed and headed out.

They made their way to where the main generator was located. But before they reached the door a blinded light exploded in the corridor and Ford and McKay both cried out and shielded their eyes. When the light faded, both men were slumped on the floor, unmoving.

John made his way through his section. When he got to where one of the generators was located, he was surprised to discover it was humming. He tapped his ear comm. "McKay, you read me?" No response. John tapped again. "McKay?" A pause. "Lieutenant Ford?" John cursed and was about to order someone to their location, since he was too far away to get there with any speed, when he heard a moan. "Ford?"

"Here...sir," came the slurred voice.

"You okay? What's going on?" John hated being out of the loop and he felt a prickle of apprehension. Not that he wasn't already tense. Lights out in Atlantis was not a good thing and he couldn't seem to shake a bad feeling about it.

There was a moment of silence before Ford replied. "Not sure what happened, sir. There was this flash of bright light and I guess it knocked us out."

John did not like the sound of that. "Is McKay okay?"

"Fine," McKay could be heard grumbling. "I love getting knocked on my ass by some alien light show and waking up on the hard, cold floor."

"But on a plus note the lights are back on," Ford interjected, cutting off more of McKay's grumblings.

John stared around him. "They are?" He left the generator room and the moment he stepped out into the hallway the lights came on, almost as if sensing his presence. "Okay...that's weird," John muttered to himself. "Ford...get yourself and McKay to Dr. Beckett for a check up. I'll be there soon." John tapped off them to contact Elizabeth. "Dr. Weir...you got lights?"

Another long moment of silence then Weir's voice crackled through the link. "We do now. This is strange."

"Yes it is," John drawled. "Sgt. Bates, you there?"

"Yes, Sir," Bates replied.

John considered his next move. "I want you to put together a dozen two man teams and check every square inch of this place. Call in anything unusual. And ask if anyone was hit by a blinding flash of light or anything like it. If so, report to me immediately."

"Copy that, major," Bates replied, then he signed off.

"You still there, major?" Elizabeth queried.

John chuckled. "Still here. I'm going to check around a bit more then make my way to the infirmary to check on Ford and McKay. Sorry if I've stepped on your toes with the orders."

Elizabeth made an amused sound. "Not at all, major. This is your area of expertise. Just keep me posted."

"Will do. Out." John signed off then stepped back into the generator room. The humming had stopped. For some reason he could not explain, that made him nervous. But he shrugged it off and headed out. He wanted to make sure everyone was okay.

Dr. Beckett had examined both Ford and McKay and he found nothing wrong with either of them. He was further convinced they were fine by Rodney's sniping and insisting that Beckett do a more thorough exam. He didn't want to have caught any alien cooties, as he put it. "It was a light, Rodney," Beckett shot back. "How can it hurt you?"

"It knocked me and Ford out," Rodney shot back, as he peeled open a power bar then took a big bite.

"Good point." Beckett sighed. "But trust me...you're fine."

John walked in, in time to hear Beckett say that and felt a sense of relief. But it was short-lived. He looked at Ford and gave him the once over. The Lieutenant looked fine. But when John looked at Rodney he stiffened. He was shocked by what he saw but reacted instinctively, pulling his side arm free, flipping off the safety and pointing it at the being that was sitting on an exam bed, munching on a power bar. "What the hell are you?" John demanded. And he did not notice the reaction of the others.

Beckett moved to Sheppard's side. "Major! What the hell are you doing? Put that gun down before it goes off!"

"Get back!" John shoved Beckett behind him and took a step closer to the being. "What are you?" he repeated.

The being merely smiled at him and took another bite of the power bar.

Teyla moved to Sheppard's side. "Major...why are you pointing a gun at Dr. McKay?"

"That isn't McKay!" John was stunned by the question. How could Teyla think that creature was McKay? He risked taking a glance at Beckett and realized the man was looking at him as if he had lost his mind. A glance at Ford showed the Lieutenant looking worried as well. "What the fuck! You don't see it?" John was careful to keep his gun pointed at the being, but shifted a bit to face Teyla. She was always honest to a fault "Are you telling me that...that thing on the table looks like McKay to you?"

"Yes, Major...it does." Teyla offered a calm smile. "Perhaps something happened to you on your way here? You should let Dr. Beckett look at you."

John shook his head and took a step back, turning to face the being again. It irked him that the thing was smiling at him. A gaping smile that gave John the creeps. It was a humanoid being, yet not human. "That is not McKay!" John said firmly.

Ford had retrieved his weapon and he now pointed it at his commanding officer. "Please, sir...put down your weapon," he ordered.

"Not happening." John didn't budge. He glared at the being. "Who are you? What are you doing here?" John was pretty sure that whatever was happening, it was connected to the power going out. He took another step closer. "Where is McKay?"

"Major!" The shout came from Sgt. Bates. Ford had contacted Weir about Sheppard and since Bates was closest to the infirmary, had had responded to her order to control the situation.

John whirled in reaction to the shout and realized his mistake too late. Teyla came at him from one side, Ford from another. John felt a foot hit him in the back of one knee and realized he shouldn't have paid better attention in his sessions with Teyla. As he fell to his knees, a hand clamped over his wrist and his gun was wrenched from his hand. John struggled to remain upright but Sgt. Bates joined in the fray and he found himself pinned down on his back.

Beckett shouldered his way in, a syringe in one hand. "Just a pinch, major and everything will be all right."

"NO!" John shouted. "Dammit! Don't do this!" He let his eyes plead with Beckett but to no avail. There was a pinch in his shoulder and the lights swirled into pretty colors then faded to black.

"Anything?"

"Nothing. I know you want there to be something physically wrong with the major, but I can't find anything."

"He took a pretty hard hit to the head a few weeks ago. Could it be a delayed reaction to that?"

"Not likely. I'll have to wait until he wakes up to do more tests, Dr. Weir."

"How soon will that be?"

John didn't listen to the reply, since he was already awake. He had felt disoriented but listening to Weir and Beckett talk had reminded him of what had happened. That being was loose in Atlantis. John opened his eyes and made to sit up only to realize he couldn't lift his arms. He glared at the restraints wrapped around his wrist. "What the hell is this?" he demanded.

Both Weir and Beckett moved to his bedside. Beckett tried to take his pulse.

"Fuck off!" John pulled away as much as the restraints would allow. "Get me out of these things!" He demanded.

"They stay until we know what's going on," Weir replied. She laid a gentle hand on Sheppard's shoulder. "Take it easy, John. We need to talk about what happened?"

He glared at her. "You need to let me out of here so I can find that...that creature! Doesn't anyone want to know what happened to Rodney?" John prayed that the scientist was still alive.

Elizabeth sighed. "John...that _Creature_ you held your gun on _is _Rodney. And he's fine. Or he will be. You scared the hell out of him."

"That wasn't --" John broke off, realizing by the look on her face, and Beckett's, that they didn't believe him. "You think I'm losing it...don't you?"

"I think you've been through a lot in the short time we've been here, John." Weir spoke in a gentle tone that was meant to be soothing.

John felt a throbbing in his temples and he wished his arms were free so he could rub them. He had no idea how he was going to convince them that something was wrong. But he realized he had to keep himself calm. John forced a smile and nodded. "Okay...you're right. Life in Atlantis is very stressful and I'm sorry if I freaked you out. But I'm okay now. Really." He offered up some puppy dog eyes but could see they weren't working on Elizabeth.

She rubbed his shoulder. "I want you to rest, John. Carson is going to run some more tests and everything will be okay."

"Sure." John had to force out the lie. He knew that Rodney was missing and some being was walking around like he owned the place. It shook John a bit to realize he was the only one not affected by whatever the creature had done to convince the others to see him as McKay. But he had to get out of this bed before he could do anything to stop the being.

"I'll be back later," Elizabeth stated then she smiled and headed out.

John looked at Beckett. "How long are you going to keep me tied up?"

Beckett sighed. "Look...major...I know this is difficult," he began, only to break off when a nurse came running in.

"Medical emergency in Horticulture!" she panted out. "One of the botanist's collapsed."

"I'll be right there." Beckett waved to her then turned back to Sheppard. "I'll be back and we'll talk," he said firmly. Then he was out the door.

John cursed and tugged at his restraints. He couldn't just lie here and do nothing. "Hello! Anyone out there?" He shouted. And a moment later a dark-haired nurse entered.

She smiled at Sheppard, hesitantly. "Can I get you anything, major?"

"I need the bathroom," John replied. It was a lie but he figured it would get him what he wanted. And he was right. He could see the woman hesitate but then she moved to the bed and touched his right hand.

"You'll come right back to bed, right?" she asked, hopefully.

John nodded. "I promise." He would apologize to her later. He watched her tug on the strap in an attempt to unbuckle it, only to jump away when a voice drawled,

"I don't think Dr. Beckett would like that."

The nurse looked guilty and nodded. "You're right, Dr. McKay." She looked at Sheppard. "Sorry, major," she told him then she fled.

John cursed then glared at the being who approached him. It had an almost shimmering aura around it that reminded John of ghostly characters from creepy movies. But he locked eyes with it, an icy glare shooting from his own. "Who the fuck are you?" he demanded. "And what have you done with McKay?"

"Don't worry, major," the being replied, as it lifted one arm and a scaly hand poked out from a long, draped, sleeve. "You'll have all the answers you desire...soon enough." That said the being pressed its fingers to Sheppard's temples.

John heard himself scream.


	2. Chapter 2

John listened to the echo of his own scream fade away and his voice felt raw and tight. He shifted in the bed, tugging on the restraints that held him, trying to free himself from the vice grip of the being's fingers on his temples. But they didn't budge and a moment later the pain faded and darkness drifted over him. But it was not the warm darkness of slumber or unconsciousness, rather it was cold and felt almost slick, as if he were touched by wetness. But then the darkness faded into gray then lightened into images that he did not see so much as he became a part of them.

He knew where he was. Atlantis. But not the Atlantis he knew now. John realized he was seeing the Atlantis of long ago. The way they were dressed reminded him somewhat of the gods and goddesses of Greek Mythology. They were a beautiful race and they spoke to each other in a language that he could not understand and yet it seemed familiar to him. 

Without warning, the images began to fade and John felt the cold, slick, darkness wash over him again only this time it eased into warm, black velvet dreams.

Pain throbbed in his temples, catapulting John out of the fuzzy darkness he had been drifting in. He realized someone was calling his name.

"Major Sheppard...come on, laddie...open your eyes now."

John recognized Dr. Beckett's brogue. He peeled his eyes open and instantly regretted it. The pain in his temples intensified as light hit his eyeballs. John closed his eyes and bit back a moan.

Carson made a clucking sound and hit the panel over the bed that toned down the lights. "You can open your eyes, major...I've darkened the area."

"Where is he?" John croaked, as he slowly cracked open one eyelid. The lights were dimmed and pain in his temples remained steady but didn't flare up.

"Where is who?" Carson countered, in a falsely bright tone.

John knew the man was hoping he wouldn't ask about the being. And maybe he wouldn't. Not until he got his bearings back anyway. He opened both eyes and made to raise a hand to his face. But the restraints restricted the movement. "Fuck!" John tugged at them. "I want these off!" He hissed, but softly. He did not want his head to explode.

Carson sighed. "You know I can't do that, major." He reached for the controls on the bed and shifted the head so that Sheppard was more upright. "Is that better?"

"Peachy." Sarcasm rolled off of John in waves. "How long are you going to keep me in these things?" He needed to be out of here and searching for McKay. And for the being.

"That depends on you." Carson grabbed a stool and sat down next to Sheppard's bed. "Look, major...we need to talk and you need to be honest with me."

John sighed and let his head plop back against the pillows. He knew he was going to have to lie like hell if he was ever to get released. "What's there to talk about?"

Carson studied him a moment then said, "I ran some tests on Rodney. Bloodwork and DNA samples...the works. Just so you know...it is Rodney. No doubt about it."

"Oh." John felt more than a little stunned by Beckett's revelation. Stunned and scared. Whatever the creature was he was able to fool Beckett completely. John was afraid that McKay might be dead. He tugged at the restraints again. "I want out of here."

"I want you to tell me what you saw when you looked at Rodney? Was it a Wraith?" Carson locked eyes with Sheppard. "Maybe something from a nightmare? I mean...that whole Wraith bug thing had to have messed with you, major, and that would be totally understandable. That along with everything else you've been through. What you had to do to protect Atlantis from the Genii. Taking on the Wraith on that planet. And let's not forget Chaya. I know you had deep feelings for her, laddie."

John almost laughed at what he was hearing. Not because it wasn't true. On way too many levels Beckett was spot on in what he was saying. But it was almost funny to hear it listed like this. Funny and scary and not something John wanted to deal with right now. So he glared back at Beckett and stated, "I'm not crazy."

Carson shook his head. "I'm not saying you are...I'm just saying that you've experienced enough trauma to last twenty lifetimes. And that's on top of what you lived through before coming here. I know you went through enough hell on earth, laddie."

"What...did you read my file?" John was not thrilled if that was the case. It was supposed to be confidential.

"Of course I read it." Carson made a face at him. "I'm the medical doctor. I've read everyone's files. As has Dr. Heightmeyer. I've spoken to her and she'll be in to see you soon. I want you to talk to her, major. If she clears you then I can remove the restraints. But not before. Not until we know what's going on with you."

John was furious now. "I'm not talking to a shrink!"

Carson shook a finger at him. "Then you can damn well stay strapped to this bed forever!" He was on his feet now and just about yelling. "Dammit, major! I can't find anything, physically wrong with you. Although something is causing you some pain and I will be running more tests. But what happened with Rodney...I have no doubt but you're going through an emotional breakdown."

"Fuck you!" John yanked on the restraints and his fingers clenched into fists. Lucky for Beckett he was restrained or he would have slugged him by now. "You're the one who's fucking nuts! You hear me? I know what I saw and that...being...was not McKay! Now let me out of these fucking restraints!" John was pulling so hard on them he could feel the leather biting into his skin.

"Calm down or I'll have to sedate you!" Carson replied, and he was back in doctor mode, his hands pressed to Sheppard's chest to hold him still.

John just struggled harder, but went still when a soft voice called his name. It was Teyla. He turned his head and watched her approach.

Smiling, Teyla looked at Dr. Beckett. "May I speak with Major Sheppard alone, please?"

"I don't think that's a good idea right now," Carson replied. He was watching the major with a wary eye.

"I'll be good," John interjected, and he forcibly made his body relax. He wanted to talk to Teyla. John felt certain he could make her understand and that she would help him.

Carson still looked doubtful, but he eased his hands off Sheppard's chest then he turned to Teyla and nodded. "Alright. You can talk for a few minutes then I have some more tests to run. I'll be back soon." With that he gave the major a glare then he turned on his heel and headed out.

Teyla sat down on the stool. "How are you feeling, Major?"

"I've been better." John managed to dredge up a smile as he tugged on his restraints. "Feeling a bit tied up though." The joke fell flat, and not because Teyla did not understand it. He could see that she was worried about him. A part of John felt warmed by her concern, but more than anything he was pissed that everyone thought he was losing it. But he felt he might be able to convince Teyla otherwise. First thing to do would be to find out what she was thinking. "Do you think I'm cracking up?" John blurted out.

"Cracking up?" Teyla echoed, frowning.

John sighed. "Losing my mind."

She shook her head. "No...you are not losing your mind. You are a very strong man, major. But something is wrong."

"You're right, Teyla." John felt a sense of relief at her words. "Something is very wrong. I need to get out of here and find Rodney. That creature...thing...he did something to Rodney."

"Dr. Beckett has assured us all that Dr. McKay is truly Dr. McKay." Teyla spoke softly and almost reluctantly.

John felt his spark of hope die. "I see. So you do think I'm losing it."

Teyla frowned at him. "I think that something is affecting you. Perhaps from a past injury. Or a nightmare?"

"You've been talking to Beckett." John's tone was sharp and he didn't mean for it to be, but he was frustrated. He had to make Teyla believe in him. "I didn't imagine the being, Teyla. What you see as Rodney McKay isn't. I swear I'm telling you the truth."

"I believe that you are telling me the truth, major," Teyla allowed. "But as you see it. I wish there was something I could do to help you."

John was more than ready to take her up on her offer. "There is something you can do. Get these things off me!" He tugged on the restraints and gave her his best puppy dog look. But it didn't work anymore than it had with Weir.

Teyla reached out and stroked Sheppard's forearm. "I think, for now, it is best that you remain here, major. Dr. Beckett will do all he can to make you better."

"I'm not sick!" John snapped. He saw Teyla flinch at his tone but did not apologize. He wasn't crazy and he wasn't going to pretend to be to appease her or anyone else. John leaned his head back and closed his eyes. "I'm tired," he said firmly, hoping Teyla would get the hint and leave. If she wasn't going to help him then he wanted to be alone so he could figure out what to do.

"Get well soon, major," Teyla replied softly.

John felt her hand in his hair, meant to soothe him, and he felt a twinge of guilt. He would apologize to her later. He knew it wasn't her fault that she didn't believe him. He said nothing for now and soon her hand slipped away. John listened to the sound of her footsteps fading away and after a moment the throbbing in his temples seemed to echo the sound. And strangely enough, in spite of the pain, it lulled him back to sleep.

He knew, even before coming fully awake, that he was not alone. And John didn't have to open his eyes to know that the being was standing there, watching him. Blinking his eyes open, John turned his head. The being was standing next to his bed. Too close. John could not stop his body from shivering in reaction. He finally realized what the creature reminded him of - Gollum from Lord of the Rings. Only fleshier and a dark gray color with scalier skin. Still the likeness was creepy and even his voice was somewhat lispy. John tried to shift up into a full sitting position. Hard to do in restraints, but he managed. Then he glared at the being ."What did you do to McKay?"

The being smiled at him. "Why do you care?"

"He's my friend." John didn't hesitate to answer. It surprised him a little, but it was the truth. Somewhere along the way, he and Rodney had become friends.

"He's...sleeping," the being replied.

John would not accept that as an answer. "Is he alive? Why did you do this? What do you want from us? From me? And why the hell am I the only one who can see you?" The questions came out of John like bullets shot from a gun.

The being looked pleased. "I have been waiting for you to ask that question, Sheppard. I was surprised to realize that you could see me. I have not met one of your kind for millennium."

"My kind?" John wasn't sure he liked the sound of that. "What the fuck does that mean?"

"Only a blood Ancient could see my kind," said the being. "I had thought they had all died out. I guess not. I'm rather glad. I was lonely with no one to play with."

Pain throbbed in John's temples again. He was getting more confused by the minute. "You mean I can see you because of that stupid gene? Then why can't Beckett see you?"

The being sighed and looked put upon. "I said only a blood Ancient could see my kind, Sheppard. You are not a stupid man...pay attention."

"Blood Ancient?" John echoed. And, yep, he was all the more confused now.

"Let's talk about Weir," the being countered. "Do you like her? She likes you, you know."

John was surprised to hear that, not that he believed the being. "You got a name or something?" He was tired of calling it a _being_ or _Creature_.

The being shrugged. "I have had many names."

"How about adding a new one to the list. I like Tim."

"Tim?" The being echoed.

John made a face then continued. "You never answered my question, Tim. What do you want with us?"

_Tim_ smiled, or what passed for a smile on his odd face. "I told you...I was bored. But now that you have come...I have someone to play with. The others are fun but a bit boring. So easy to manipulate. To make them see what I want them to see. They believe anything I wish them to believe. Weir will believe anything I tell her. I don't like her much. She is not...needed."

"What the hell does that mean?" John heard warning bells go off in his head and he did not like the look that glowed in Tim's gray eyes. That was the other creepy thing about him. Tim's eyes were almost the same color as his skin.

Tim turned away. "Dr. Weir serves no purpose here, Sheppard. I shall make her go away." He spoke in a sing-song voice as he glided out of the room.

John felt himself grow pale as Tim's meaning became clear. "NO! Come back here!" John yanked on his restraints, and he could feel the veins in his neck bulge as he tried to rip the straps free. He slumped back and cursed. Dr. Weir was in danger. "BECKETT!" John shouted. "Sonofabitch! Let me out of here!" Again he struggled to no avail, but he didn't give up. If he didn't get out of here, Elizabeth was dead.

Beckett came flying into the room, followed by a nurse. He gripped Sheppard by the shoulders. "Easy, major. Calm down!"

"Get me out of here!" John snarled. "Dr. Weir is in danger!"

"What are you talking about?" Carson almost shook the major. "I just spoke with her. She's fine. Now you have to calm down."

That was the last thing John was going to do. He continued to pull on the restraints, feeling the leather biting into his flesh, scouring his skin and making it bleed and he didn't care. He didn't bother to try and make Beckett understand. He knew the man would not listen. So John kept fighting until strong hands pinned him down and a pin prick in his shoulder sent him swirling into darkness.


	3. Chapter 3

John knew that Weir was dead and it jolted him out of the hazy darkness he had been floating in. "No!" He tried to sit up but realized he was still restrained. "Fuck…" He winced at how hoarse and raw his voice sounded to his own ears.

"Easy, major." Carson was by his side in an instant. "Have a sip of water." He held out a glass with a straw stuck in it.

"Weir?" John wasn't interested in the water.

Carson set the glass back down and sighed. "She's just fine, laddie."

John did not believe him, but he would play along. "I want to see her!" He pulled at the restraints as he glared at Beckett. But the man just shook his head at him and John wanted to scream in frustration. "You can't keep me here forever!" he snarled at the doctor.

"Major."

It was Weir's voice and John jerked his head in the direction it came from and relief flooded his body to see her walking towards him. But then he saw the being walking beside her and John felt his entire body tense up. What made it worse was that Tim was grinning at him. John forced himself to focus on Weir, wishing he could reach out to her and draw her away from the creature. "You're okay." John looked her up and down to be sure.

Elizabeth nodded. "I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"No reason." It took a monumental effort on John's part not to shift his head to glare at Tim. But he knew that if he projected his anger at the being everyone else saw as Rodney, then they would keep him trapped here. So John made himself relax, one muscle at a time.

"How are you feeling, John?" Elizabeth queried as she studied him intently.

He wasn't sure how to answer that. If he said the wrong thing he was in trouble. John had to be careful, he had to get out of here so he could find Rodney. "I've been better," he allowed. "Look...I realize I've been acting a bit crazy. I'm sorry. I promise you that I'm okay so...um...maybe you could let me out of these things?" John pulled on the restraints to get his point across.

Elizabeth folded her arms across her chest and sighed. "I don't think that's a good idea, John. Not yet."

"Then when?" He couldn't hide his frustration. "I'm not crazy and I'm not going to hurt anyone."

"You were ready to hurt Rodney," Elizabeth fired back at him.

And John had to look at Tim and the smug look on the creature's face made John see red. But he held his anger in check. It wasn't as if he had a choice. He closed his eyes for a moment then whispered, "I'm sorry about that."

Elizabeth reached out and touched him on the arm. "John...you know that this is Rodney, right? Carson told you how he ran tests and everything."

"Yeah...he told me." John accepted her touch but kept his eyes closed. If he looked at her she would see what he was really thinking. "I can't explain what happened, Elizabeth. I wish I could. But I'm okay now...really."

"I really want to believe that, John," Elizabeth countered. "But Carson can't find a physical reason for your behavior, which leads me to believe it had a psychological trigger. So if you want out of the restraints and out of here, you have to talk to Heightmeyer."

That was the last thing John wanted to do. He hated shrinks. They asked stupid questions and he always felt as if he were being graded on his answers. Like there was such a thing as a wrong answer when it came to a person's feelings. But he shrugged off his thoughts on the matter and made himself look at Weir. "Okay...fine...I'll talk to her." John would do whatever it took to get out of here. Rodney needed him. No one else knew he was missing. No one else would look for him. No one else could save him. "When?" John prompted. He needed out of here now.

Carson interjected. "You need to eat and get some more rest, major. I'll set up an appointment for later."

"Why not now?" John tried not to reveal the urgency he felt.

"Follow doctor's orders, John," Weir instructed. She squeezed his shoulder and smiled. "I have a meeting to get to but I'll come check on you later."

John managed a smile and nodded. "Okay. I'll be here." She was used to his banter and he wanted her to think he was back to normal. At least from her point of view.

Carson checked on Sheppard's vitals then looked at Rodney. "Don't you have work to do?"

"Not really." Tim grabbed a nearby stool and pulled it over to Sheppard's bed. "I'll keep the major company for a bit."

"Don't stay long," Carson cautioned. "He needs to rest." With that he headed out to check on other patients.

John glared at Tim. "No more games you sonofabitch. Where is McKay?" Is he alive?"

Tim shrugged. "You don't pay attention, do you? I told you...he's sleeping?" Slipping off the stool, Tim moved closer, leaning in over Sheppard. "If you can get yourself released from here...I will take you to see McKay."

"Why should I believe you?" Not for one moment did John trust the creature to be honest with him.

"What other choice do you have?" Tim countered, a smirk curving his thin lips.

John cursed beneath his breath. The bastard was right. "I'll get out of here," he promised, then he flinched back as a scaly hand reached for him. But he couldn't escape, being bound as he was, and strong fingers pressed into his temples again and John found himself back in the Atlantis of the past. Only this time he lived in the moment.

He was one of them. John didn't see what happened so much as he experienced it. He stood on the balcony, smiling at a beautiful blond woman. They leaned in for a kiss only to jump apart at the sound of an explosion. Then all hell broke loose and figures that John could not see clearly appeared and surrounded them. He watched the woman cry out then she was falling and he caught her in his arms and felt a warm wetness. He stared down in horror as her blood stained his clothes. And even as John held her, her features morphed into Weir's visage and John cried out in denial. "No! NO!" He let her slip to the floor then stared at his hands. They were covered in blood.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

John didn't feel Tim slip away from him. He didn't hear Beckett come running. He didn't feel the hands that held him down or the pinprick that send him spiraling into blessed oblivion.

He came awake to the sound of fuzzy voices and realized they were talking about him.

"...so there's no brain abnormalities of any kind? Nothing that suggests this is physical? Maybe a chemical induced trauma?"

"I did all the scans and an entire blood work up," Carson was saying. "I can't find any reason for the major's behavior. But I have read his file and his psyche reports."

The woman's voice was vaguely familiar but John couldn't quite place it.

"So you're thinking it's Post Traumatic syndrome in some form or another."

"Seems likely," Carson stated.

"Let me know when he's awake and able to interact coherently and we'll find out."

"Let me check on him before you go."

John heard footsteps approaching and he forced open bleary eyes. He had to blink several times to bring Beckett's face into focus. "Quit giving me...this shit," John slurred.

Carson grimaced. "I don't like doing it," he allowed. "But you don't leave me any choice, laddie. How are you feeling?"

"Like something crawled up in my head and took up residence." John tried to rub his temples, having forgotten about the restraints, until the hindered his movement. "Fuck...fuck...FUCK!"

"Now...now, major," Carson chided. "There's a lady present."

John heard lighter footsteps and turned his head. He found himself staring at Heightmeyer. She had the voice that was vaguely familiar. John had managed to avoid any sessions with her to date. Which he knew irritated both Weir and Beckett to know end. But he had had enough of psychologist's back on Earth. But he nodded at her and mumbled an apology. For the cursing, not for the attitude he was going to give her once she tried to probe inside his head. "Sorry."

She smiled at him. "That's all right, Major Sheppard. I'm used to it. Do you feel up to talking?"

"Could I have some water first?" John wasn't exactly stalling. His throat felt dry and raw.

"Of course." Heightmeyer grabbed the glass with the straw and held it for him. "Better?" She asked, when he pulled away.

John nodded. "Yeah. Better. Can I be straight with you?"

She looked surprised but then she nodded. "Of course. If I'm going to help you we need to be straight with each other, major."

"Right." John locked eyes with her and blurted out the truth. "I don't want to do this and I'm sure you can guess why."

"I don't like to make guesses, major," she countered. "Why don't you tell me why."

He resisted the urge to heave a sigh. Classic maneuver that all shrinks used. Turn everything he said around onto him. Make him answer his own questions. John hated that tactic. "You've read my file, doc. I've seen a lot of scary shit and there's a lot of scary shit in my head. But none of that makes me crazy. I just don't like stranger trying to figure me out."

Heightmeyer studied him for a moment. "That's understandable, major. But you do realize that you've been displaying some rather questionable behavior...and it's my job to help you figure out why. And that's all I want to do...is help you. If you'll let me."

"I just want out of here," John confessed. "So what do I have to do?" Whatever it was she wanted, he would do it.

"I want to tell me how you really feel about Dr. McKay," Heightmeyer replied.

John hadn't expected that question and he didn't know what to say that wouldn't make matters worse. He opened his mouth to blurt out something that would pacify her when he heard it. A voice in his head, calling his name. A familiar voice. "Rodney.." John whispered then his eyes rolled back in his head.


	4. Chapter 4

_"Rodney!"_

_"Major...help me."___

_"Where are you?" Rodney?"_

_"...help me..."_

_"RODNEY!"_

"Major...take it easy. It's all right, you're all right now."

John's eyes flew open at the sound of Beckett's brogue. He could feel his heart thudding hard in his chest and he tried to sit up but the restraints held him back. "Goddamit!" John yanked hard but the leather straps held firm. He couldn't hide the desperation he felt as he locked eyes with Beckett. "Did you hear that? Did you hear him?"

Carson was frowning. "Hear who?"

"Rod…" John broke off, realizing that the voice had been inside his head. No one else heard it. He forced himself to relax back against the pillows then took a moment to remember what had happened. John noticed that Heightmeyer was gone, which gave him a sense of relief. He couldn't deal with her psychobabble right now. "I passed out?" he guessed, which freaked him out a bit.

"Something like that," Carson allowed. "It was almost like you had a bit of a seizure."

John did not like the sound of that. He was beginning to feel as if he were losing control of everything. His mind and his body. And add to that the frustration that grated on him, John was beginning to feel scared. He closed his eyes a moment, which allowed him to focus on becoming calm again then he opened them and looked at Beckett. "Do you think I'm crazy?" John wanted to know. He needed to know.

Carson sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. "I don't know what to think, major. But the fact that you're asking is a sign that you still have your wits about you."

"That's good to know." John shifted to get more comfortable but that was hard to do with the restraints on. "Can you please take these off now? I promise to stay put." It was a bald-faced lie but John felt justified in telling it. Rodney needed him and the only way to find him and help him was to get free. So John would lie like hell now and apologize later.

"I don't think that's such a good idea, major." Carson looked regretful.

John went for the puppy dog eyes, letting Beckett see how sincere he was. "Look...I feel like shit, okay? And this doesn't help." He tugged at his bindings. "I'm tired. And to be honest...I don't think I have the strength to get out of this bed." Unfortunately, he wasn't kidding. John was worn out between the sedatives, lack of food and lack of mobility.

Carson made a face. "Aye...that I believe. I doubt you'd get three steps without collapsing." He contemplated a moment then started undoing the straps. "I'm gonna hold you to your word, laddie. You stay put."

"Where would I go anyway?" John was thrilled when one wrist was freed. As soon as the other was released he started rubbing the abused skin. 

"There's nowhere you could go that Weir wouldn't send someone to get you and bring you back here," Carson stated. He grabbed Sheppard's arms and studied his reddened wrists. "I'll put some cream on that for you."

John tugged his arms back. "It's fine...thanks. Can I use the bathroom?" He wasn't asking to get away with anything, he really needed to go. And a shower sounded like a wonderful idea as well. "I'd like to clean up too."

Carson hesitated then nodded. "All right, but I'm hanging out while you shower just in case."

"Fine." John didn't care. He just wanted to get out of the bed and feel clean again. Normal. And this was about the only thing he had any control over at the moment. So he pushed back the covers and slid his legs over the side of the bed. But when he got up the room tilted and he was vaguely aware of strong hands catching him and easing him back down. After a moment the dizziness passed and John gave Beckett a rueful look. "That went well."

"Feel up to trying again or would you rather stay put?" Carson was watching him closely.

John didn't hesitate. He pushed to his feet again and locked his knees. The room didn't tilt. "So far so good." He was grinning. But the smile faded when he realized how far away the bathroom was.

Carson moved to Sheppard's side and wrapped one arm around the slender waist. "I've got you, laddie. Just hang on."

"I can do this!" John realized he was snapping at Beckett, but he hated being so weak.

"I know you can, major," Carson replied. "You could out stubborn a mule and that's a fact." As he spoke he eased them both forward.

John sighed. "Sorry...I'm a bit edgy." In truth he appreciated the help. His muscles felt a bit like Jello.

Carson nodded. "I know. And I know you're feeling weak and that grates at you. Side effect of the sedatives I had to pump into you, and lack of food. After you shower I'm going to send for some soup and you're going to eat. Then take a nap."

"I feel like I'm five years old," John confessed. And not in a good way. They reached the bathroom and he pulled away from Beckett. "I'm good to go."

"I'll be right outside. Just yell if you need me."

John nodded. "Wait...can I get some of my own clothes? I have sweats and a tee shirt that would be more comfortable than these scrubs." If he was going to prowl around Atlantis with Tim, John wanted to blend in as much as possible. Red scrubs were not good camouflage.

Carson shrugged. "I guess that won't hurt. I'll send someone to get them."

"Thanks." That said, John stepped into the bathroom and closed the door. He took care of the necessities then stepped into the shower. It was slow going because he really was hampered by his weakness. Halfway through cleaning up he heard the door open and Beckett's voice.

"I've dumped your things on the seat!"

John was relieved. "Thanks!" he shouted back then he heard the door close again. He finished cleaning up, rinsed off then stepped out to dry off. By the time he did that and got dressed he had to sit on the toilet to dry his hair. A hard knock sounded on the door and made John jump.

It was Beckett. "You okay in there?"

"I'm fine." John stood up and only wobbled a little. He made it to the door just as Beckett opened it.

"You're looking mighty pale, major," Carson stated. "Back to bed for you." He didn't give Sheppard a chance to respond, he simply slung his arm around his waist again and basically hauled him back to the other room.

John wouldn't admit it, but it actually felt good to lie down. He let Beckett draw the covers over him and let his eyes drift closed. He would rest for a bit then sneak out in search of Tim.

Carson tapped his arm. When Sheppard's eyes opened, he held out a mug of steaming liquid. "What passes for tomato soup. It's thin and should go down easy enough. Try to drink it all."

"Uh...great. Thanks." John wasn't really hungry but he accepted the mug. He knew he needed to get something in him to get his strength up. Right now he felt fully depleted. So he sipped at the soup, which was almost palatable, and managed to drink most of it before giving up.

"Good enough, major," Carson stated as he took the mug back. "Now get some sleep."

John didn't reply. He was already drifting off.

When John woke up it took him a moment to realize that he hadn't suffered a nightmare, nor was he back in the restraints. The other thing he realized was that the lights were low and the infirmary looked empty. He slid out of bed and made his way over to the nurse's station. He recognized the nurse on duty. Emily. She was working on the laptop so John slid back into the shadows and headed out the other way. Soon he was moving down the corridor into the nearest transporter. He leaned against the wall until the doors slid open, cursing the fact that he still felt so weak. But then he was moving down the corridor and into his room. Once there John shucked his sweatpants and exchanged them for his uniform pants. He then laced on his boots then retrieved his berretta, which he shoved into the back of his pants and covered with his tee shirt. Then he headed out the door in search of Tim. John knew that once Emily realized he was gone, they would come looking for him.

Weir heard the knock on her door and glanced at her alarm clock. It was four a.m. She muttered a few choice words as she crawled out of bed. She made her way to the door and opened it. "Carson...what are you doing here?"

The doctor heaved a sigh. "I hate to tell you this but...Major Sheppard is missing."

"What?" Elizabeth turned around and found her shoes and her jacket. She was wearing sweats and a tee shirt so she didn't bother to change further. "How long has he been gone?"

"Maybe twenty minutes. Emily can't be sure. No longer than thirty."

Elizabeth was worried. "Check on Rodney, make sure he's okay. Then check the major's room. Maybe he just headed there to be more comfortable."

Carson winced. "I already checked there and I've got more bad news."

"Of course you do. What is it?" Elizabeth prompted.

"I found his thigh holster on the bed. Empty."

Elizabeth felt a headache coming on and she rubbed at her forehead. "Okay...let's wake up the troops. We have to find the major ASAP." With that she headed out of the room, with Carson on her heels.

John followed Tim down a long corridor in a section of the city that he knew they had never explored. Knew it because it was a section that was in a level that was underwater, so to speak. They hadn't discovered anything like this in their explorations. John was intrigued by it but didn't ask questions. He knew he was on borrowed time and all that mattered was finding Rodney. Finding Tim had been easy. John had gone to Rodney's lab and the creature had been there, waiting for him. It had taken all of John's will power not to pull his gun and shoot the bastard then and there. Which he still intended to do, after Tim took him to Rodney.

"We're almost there," Tim announced, as he quickened his pace.

"Good." John strove to keep up but it wasn't easy. His legs were starting to feel like Jello again. At one point he stumbled into the wall and was surprised when a hand gripped his arm to steady him. Surprised and horrified, for at Tim's touch, images popped in John's head. A blond woman, covered in blood and screaming his name. John pulled away and the image vanished. He rubbed his head then glared at Tim.

Tim smirked at him then continued on. He led the way through an open archway then stopped before a closed door. "Touch it, major," Tim invited.

John hesitated a moment, but he knew Tim was both taunting him and challenging him and this was all about finding Rodney. So he stepped up to the door and pressed one hand against it. It whooshed open and John stepped inside. The room was dark but lit up as he moved forward, almost guiding his way to the chamber in the back. A small room, enclosed in glass, and lying on a table was McKay. John lurched forward. "Rodney!" Without thinking he pressed his hands to the chamber wall and an opening appeared. John rushed inside, one hand reaching out to touch Rodney on the face. John shuddered because his skin was so pale and so cold. "Rodney?" He whispered.

"He's sleeping," Tim interjected.

"Rodney!" John spoke louder, willing his friend to hear him. He was about to turn away, anger at Tim burning inside him, when John felt Rodney twitch. Without thinking he pressed his other hand on Rodney's chest, over his heart and felt it thud against his palm. Rodney was alive. He turned to glare at Tim and was surprised to see the creature eyeing him with what looked like disbelief.

Tim took a step back. "You are...one of them."

John could almost believe that Tim was afraid of him. Almost. Well he was about to be very afraid. He stepped away from Rodney and pulled out his gun, aiming it at the creature. "Wake him up!" he ordered.

"It is not time yet," Tim replied. He took another step back, easing out of the chamber.

"Make it time!" John followed him, but his hand was shaking and he felt his knees start to buckle. Then he heard it, Rodney's voice in his head, louder this time.

_"Help me, John. Help me..."_

John fell to his knees, dropping the gun as he pressed both hands to his temples. Then he screamed.


	5. Chapter 5

Ford stood in McKay's lab and tapped his radio. "Dr. Weir?"

"Yes, Lieutenant." She replied. "Did you find Dr. McKay?"

"No, ma'am." Ford sighed. "I've searched his room and the messhall and I'm standing in the lab. Looks like he's missing too." He knew what she would be thinking. What they both were thinking.

Weir was silent a moment then, "Find Major Sheppard." She clicked off.

Ford headed for the door.

John's throat felt raw as the scream was ripped from his chest. He clutched his head, feeling as if it might explode, and Rodney's voice was echoing too loudly and he thought he might go insane. And everything was white and too bright and John wanted darkness. Darkness would make everything silent. He drew air into his burning lungs and willed away the pain.

Elizabeth was pacing next to the console where Grodin was sitting. He was trying to get a lock on Major Sheppard. She tried not to worry about him or Rodney. Elizabeth had to believe that John would not hurt Rodney. But she knew that the major was ill and that his actions were no longer under his control. But to play it safe she had ordered the teams who were searching for him to take him down upon contact. However they were to use tranquilizer guns, not excessive force. Elizabeth knew just how deadly Sheppard could be. Deadly and focused. So she paced and she prayed until she was startled out of her reverie when the lights went out.

"What just happened?" Elizabeth demanded.

"I don't know." Grodin's fingers were punching buttons in the dark. "It's just like before, we have no power.

Elizabeth did not like the sound of that. "Dammit!" The last time this happened, Sheppard had gone mad. She feared what would happen this time, when the lights came back on.

Blessed darkness, John thought. He didn't remember collapsing onto his back, but he didn't bother to move. He felt bone deep weary and the silence that wrapped around him was soothing. Until it was shattered by the sound of harsh and guttural breathing and he felt his chest constrict as if it were his own lungs that were deflating. He knew what was happening. "No...no!" John rolled over onto his knees and crawled towards the sound in the darkness. His chest felt tight and he felt sheer terror that was not his own. "Rodney...god..." John made it to the table and pulled himself up to his feet. He found Rodney by sound and touch and the body beneath his hands was shuddering and jerking and John knew he was dying.

"Help him!" John couldn't see Tim in the darkness, but he knew the creature was still there. He could feel him, watching.

"Only you can save him, Major," Tim whispered softly. "You're the one who's killing him."

John started to shake his head even though he knew Tim couldn't see it. But then it hit him, what the creature meant. He was the one who had turned the power off. His will had plunged them into darkness. But even as he tried to focus on bringing back the light, John felt consciousness slipping away from him. He could feel Rodney's heartbeat slowing, even as the gasping breaths turned to choking sighs. Rodney was dying. "Don't you dare!" John hissed, and he forced the darkness back by sheer stubbornness and it was like a kick in the gut when the lights blazed back on, blinding him so that he had to close his eyes. But that didn't matter because he could feel Rodney breathing beneath his palm and John's knees buckled as relief washed over him.

Elizabeth jumped when the lights flared back on. She looked at Grodin who was punching buttons again. "Did you do that?"

He shook his head. "No."

"What the hell is going on here?"

"Wish I knew." Grodin jumped up and went to another console and pushed more buttons.

Elizabeth tapped her radio. "Lt. Ford...have you found the major and Dr. McKay?"

A moment of static then, "No, ma'am. Nothing yet."

"Keep looking," Elizabeth ordered then she signed off and rubbed at her forehead. If she had known what she was getting into before stepping through the gate to come here...she would have stayed home.

"Well done, major," Tim purred as he glided over to the table. "You are stronger than I first thought." He made as if to reach out and touch Sheppard, but drew back when the major turned to face him, gun in hand.

John tried to ignore the fact that his hand was shaking as he aimed at Tim. "What the hell is going on here?" He could feel that something was different, that he was different. But he could not define it.

Tim was still smiling at him, revealing jagged teeth in his slashed mouth. "You are awakening," he whispered.

"I'm what?" John wasn't sure he liked the sound of that then he realized that Tim was probably just messing with his head. He gripped the gun tighter, liking the way it felt heavy and familiar in his hand, and glared at the creature. "I want Rodney back...now!"

"I'm not ready to give him up." Tim replied. "But...I might consider a trade."

John knew he shouldn't ask, but it wasn't like he had a choice. "What kind of a trade?"

Tim moved closer. "You for McKay. Let me bond with you, Major."

"And you'll let Rodney go?" John didn't hesitate. He had to get Rodney out of here and he would do whatever it took.

"Yes." That was all Tim said.

John found himself nodding. "Okay. But you bring Rodney back first."

Tim slid past Sheppard, moving to Rodney's side. He laid one scaly hand on McKay's chest, the other on his forehead.

"Hurt him and I'll figure out how to kill you!" John snarled at the creature, but his eyes were locked on Rodney. He realized he was holding his breath as he waited for some kind of reaction. Anything would be good about now. Anything but the feel of McKay dying. And even as John watched he saw a light emanate from Tim. It was glowing but not overly bright and it settled over Rodney like a fine mist.

"Rodney?" John whispered.

In response, McKay gasped loudly, sucking in air, then he opened his eyes. He looked confused.

John felt a smile split his face as he reached for McKay's hand. "Hey, Rodney. It's about time you woke up." The teasing felt good and right in this moment.

"You heard me." Rodney's voice was hoarse but filled with wonderment as he let himself be pulled up so he was sitting on the table.

"I heard you." John felt almost dizzy with relief. "How do you feel? You okay?"

Rodney nodded, even as he patted his hands over himself as if to be sure. "I am now." Then he looked past John and gasped.

John turned to see what Rodney was looking at and he was stunned to see Tim, puddled on the floor. He was half the size he had been and it was as if he had shrunken into himself. John wondered if he would simply die, which would be fine with him.

"You...promised...major," Tim slurred out, as if reading Sheppard's mind.

"I know," John whispered, but he turned back to Rodney. "You sure you're okay? Can you make it out of here on your own?"

Rodney slid off the table and bounced, as if testing his legs. He nodded. "Yeah...I can make it but...you're coming with me. Right?" He stepped around Sheppard, getting as far away from the creature on the floor as he could.

John felt Rodney shudder. "I made a promise, McKay...and I'm a man of my word. Me for you."

"No!" Rodney looked horrified. "Just shoot the damn thing...it's half dead already."

"I can't." And John realized how true his statement was. Instinctively he knew he had to keep Tim alive. That it was important somehow. "Go find Weir and tell her what happened. Tell her I'm not crazy."

Rodney shook his head. "No! Forget it! I'm not letting you do this! That...that...THING...it sucked the life out of me. Worse than a Wraith, Major. I knew what was happening to me. I was aware of everything. Do you know what that's like? Being aware and being so damn helpless?"

John didn't know but he could imagine, only he didn't have time to deal with this right now. "Do what I say!" he ordered then he took a step towards Tim. He could tell the creature was dying.

"I won't let you do this, Major!" Rodney grabbed Sheppard by the arm to haul him back, but it was too late.

Tim had scuttled forward and he gripped Sheppard by the ankle, pulling himself up his body until his hand was over Sheppard's heart.

John felt the creature touch him and it was icy-cold, ripping his breath from his chest, and then he was melting into darkness. He didn't hear Rodney scream his name or grab his gun or fire bullet after bullet into Tim's body. All he felt was white-hot pain.


	6. Chapter 6

Rodney was pacing. And wringing his hands. His eyes were glued to the curtained area where Dr. Beckett and his team were working over Major Sheppard. Rodney had long ago lost track of time, but he knew one thing, it was taking way too long to find out if Sheppard would be okay. So Rodney kept pacing, feeling Weir's eyes on him. He didn't look at her.

She touched his arm. "You should be resting, Rodney. You've been through one hell of an ordeal and Carson wants you to take it easy."

"I'm fine!" Rodney snapped, and instantly regretted it. "Sorry." He knew she was worried about the major too. As were Teyla and Ford, who were hovering nearby. Everyone was worried. And curious. Rodney had killed the creature that had trapped him and taken on his identity, all of which he explained to Weir and Beckett in a garbled bunch of run-on sentences. He hadn't needed to add John's request. Weir had immediately realized that Major Sheppard had been telling them all the truth and that he wasn't crazy. Rodney hoped the major would wake up soon so they could apologize to him. He deserved a big apology, and Rodney planned on thanking him again, right after he yelled at him for being a damn fool. For playing _hero_ again. He was grateful, but he was also scared. They couldn't lose Sheppard. Atlantis needed him. Hell...Rodney needed him. Sheppard was the only person on the base Rodney could snark with who could keep up and snark back. And he was the person who had saved his ass.

The curtain shifted and Beckett appeared. He looked worried. "He's still unconscious," he stated, eyeing the group who gathered before him. "An almost catatonic state. But his vitals are good...stable. So right now all we can do is wait."

Rodney couldn't accept that. "Are you kidding?" He glared at Beckett. "There has to be something more you can do. That...that..._Creature_...did something to him. Cut the damn thing open and figure out what and fix it!"

"Rodney." Weir's voice was soft, but commanding, as she touched his arm. "Dr. Beckett will do everything he can for the major. You know that."

"Yeah...right." Rodney did know but he was too wound up to admit it. He'd apologize for his behavior later. Maybe. He glared at Beckett again. "Can I see him?" He asked as a courtesy. No way was anyone keeping him away.

Carson nodded. "Yes...but first I'd like to hear what happened. Everything you know, Rodney. It might help me with the major."

So Rodney told him the story, again. But starting with the bright light that knocked him and Ford out in the corridor. Then Rodney had come back to awareness, trapped in his own body. He shuddered as he spoke of it and jumped when Teyla's hand settled on his shoulder. He appreciated the comfort she meant to offer, but shrugged her off and resumed pacing. "Anyway," Rodney continued. "I kept trying to call for help...in my head. I knew that I was only screaming in my head." Another pause to shudder and clear his throat. "But no one could hear me. No one but the major. When I came back to consciousness he told me he heard me."

"Why John?" Weir spoke out loud, but almost to herself. She looked at everyone. "Why could he see the creature and the rest of us couldn't?"

"That...creature...it kept coming to the chamber and rambling on." Rodney stopped pacing as his mind clicked from thought to thought. He hadn't let himself processes the whys of what had happened. Until now. "It would talk about the major being a pure blood."

That made Beckett frown. "He had to be talking about Major Sheppard and the gene."

Rodney shook his head. "He made it sound like something different. Some things are kind of foggy...but I remember thinking that the major didn't want that thing to die. He was going to bond with it...to save me." The last bit made Rodney choke a bit. Only now was it kicking in what the major had been willing to do. Trade his own life to save Rodney's. Rodney's knees buckled and he dropped down into a nearby chair.

"It seems we will have to wait until Major Sheppard awakens to fully understand what happened," Teyla interjected.

"I guess so," Beckett replied, as he ran a hand over his face. "In the mean time I'm going to study his bloodwork." He shooed everyone to the door. "I'll let you know if there are any changes."

Rodney remained behind and managed to stand up, although his legs felt shaky. "Can I see him now?"

Beckett nodded. "If anything happens with the major...anything at all...give me a yell."

"You'll hear me," Rodney assured him then he stepped around the doctor and headed for the curtain. He pushed it aside then focused on the figure lying on the bed. Grabbing a stool, Rodney pulled it close and sat down before he fell down. He was still shaking. He stared at the major. He couldn't remember ever seeing Sheppard look so pale or be so still. Even when he wasn't moving, the major was a body in motion. As if he were pure energy held in stasis for short moments, but still humming with power. But now that _energy_ was neutralized and Rodney felt a sense of panic. "You have to wake up, major," he hissed at the still figure.

Sheppard didn't move. Didn't even twitch. So Rodney closed his eyes and did something he hadn't even attempted since he was five years old. He prayed.

John knew where he was this time. The moment Tim had touched him he had been hurtled into the past, which was beginning to feel like the present to him now. He thought he understood why. It was _his_ past he was reliving. How or why, he could not begin to understand, but John let himself be in the moment since he had no way of leaving of his own free will.

The enemy was attacking Atlantis, and he could see them clearly this time. They were cloaked and wore face helmets and they attacked with brute strength and deadly precision. But he was ready for them and fought with skill and determination. But it was not enough to save the woman he loved. John watched her fall. He caught her and her blood stained his hands. He kissed her as she took her last breath and then he rose to his feet and went after the one who had ended her life. He was ruthless but the enemy was strong and John fell, but when the enemy loomed over him he lashed out and their blood soon stained the floor.

Rising to his feet, John's chest was heaving as he bent to remove the helmet. He gasped and staggered back to see the creature that lay within the folds of the cloak. It looked like Tim. Which meant that it had taken on the visage of a strong race in order to attempt to defeat the Lanteans.

But the threat to Atlantis was no illusion. And even as that reality hit him, John felt himself falling into darkness.

"Beckett!" Rodney screamed for the doctor as he watched Sheppard's body thrashing on the bed.

Carson ran in and gripped the major's shoulders. "Convulsions. Help me hold him down."

Rodney leaned over the major's legs, but it was hard to keep him pinned. He was about to yell at Beckett to do something more productive when Sheppard went limp. Rodney eased back, carefully. The major was deathly pale and deathly still. "Is he..." Rodney could finish the question.

"He's alive." Carson was checking the major's pulse. "A bit thready but surprisingly strong. I need you leave, Rodney so I can examine him again."

"Right." Rodney left the area, but he didn't leave. And he wouldn't leave. Not until he knew Sheppard would be okay.

John dreamed again but it was different this time. He wasn't trapped in the past or even the present. He wasn't living in the moment this time but seeing something. A vision perhaps and he wondered if this vision would lead him back to his reality.

He watched as the Wraith attacked Atlantis, flying over the city in ships both big and small, firing upon her and others breeching her walls to invade the sanctuary they had created for themselves. He watched the people he knew, his friends, as they fought against the enemy, too many falling and he felt anger burning deep inside him at all those who were lost.

And then he saw himself in a familiar room. The chamber where Tim had kept Rodney only John saw himself lying on the table. He was still but not sleeping or dead. He was focused. John watched and suddenly he was blinded by an intense light and when it faded and he could see again, Atlantis was wrapped in a shimmering dome of energy. A shield. And suddenly John understood. This shield was not like the one that had saved them from the storm. This shield emanated from within Atlantis. It was the essence of the city and he was the medium through which it could form to protect itself and her people.

Darkness swirled over him again and he welcomed it. It was time to rest.

Rodney was pacing again. Beckett had made him leave to eat and sleep and another day had passed before he was awake enough to return to the infirmary. Only to find there was no change. Major Sheppard was still unconscious and Rodney could tell that Beckett was beginning to lose hope. "Wake up, dammit!" Rodney stopped pacing to snarl at Sheppard. "You can sleep later, Major. We need you now. I need you. You're the only one who gets me."

But John didn't stir. He slept on.

Elizabeth watched him sleep. He looked young and peaceful and she was almost envious. Almost. She smiled as she let one hand brush over his cheek and let herself enjoy simply looking at him. He was a beautiful man and she had never been able to ignore that fact, but now she could indulge herself for the moment. There were no walls or boundaries between them right now. Sighing, Elizabeth let her fingers drift into his hair for a moment, letting the spiky, soft, tendril tickle her skin. Then she grabbed the ever present stool and sat down. "I can't do this alone, John," Elizabeth whispered. "I need you the way you need me. We balance each other out, you know. That's what you're good at. Finding the balance with everyone. You and Rodney are like day and night but you understand him and he needs that. And you're teaching me how to accept what my position means. You're guiding me through the tough decisions and you don't let me feel sorry for myself, for which I thank you. But I'd rather do so when you can hear me and smile back in that way you do that makes me think you're never going to grow up. Which isn't a bad thing." Elizabeth broke off as her eyes burned with sudden tears. "Please wake up, John," she whispered. Then she stood up and exited the room as quietly as she had come.

John felt himself slipping out of darkness. He heard the echo of familiar voices and he wanted to reach out to them, but they eluded his grasp and then he was falling into soft shadows that morphed into fragmented memories. And he knew they would lead him home.


	7. Chapter 7

He remembered stepping through the gate into Atlantis. The rush of adrenaline and the way his heart had thumped in his chest.

He remembered Teyla's smile as he told her he loved a good cup of tea, and the way she had said he didn't look through her.

He remembered the way Sumner had looked at him, asking him to shoot. Pulling the trigger had been the hardest thing he had ever had to do.

He remembered jamming the Wraith weapon deep into the Keeper's belly, wanting her to die. Wanting the life to be sucked out of her the way she had sucked the life out of Sumner.

He remembered other things in fragments.

Steve dying. An old Weir dying. Their own people dying in an epidemic. Another Wraith dead, but more of their own lost as well.

And he remembered the city rising and how alive he had felt in that moment.

And the shadows that surrounded John began to slide away. The last image to shimmer in his head was of himself, standing on the balcony where his other self had stood. Staring out onto the water as the sunlight shimmered on the surface and warmed his skin.

And then he heard the voices clearly.

"...he'll never wake up?"

"I didn't say that. I said I can't give you a time frame."

"I know that, Carson. I just...it's hard to be patient. We need him."

John smiled to hear Elizabeth say that. "I'm here," he whispered, but his voice was so soft and hoarse he wondered if they heard him. But when he opened his eyes and blinked hard, their faces loomed into focus over him. "Hey." John coughed and tried to sit up.

Carson helped him ease up against the pillows. "There's water on the stand," he told Weir.

She grabbed the glass and held the straw to Sheppard's lips.

He took a few sips then pulled back. "Thanks." Cleared his throat a few times and it was better. John looked at them both and managed a shaky smile. "Scared you?" he guessed.

"You have a way of doing that, major," Elizabeth allowed. "How do you feel?"

"Tired." John stretched a bit and realized he felt sore as well. He tried to hide a wince but failed.

Carson locked eyes with him. "Describe what hurts?"

John sighed. "Everything. I'm just aching and sore, like I ran a marathon or something. It's nothing." He hoped he was telling the truth. But then he remembered something and he turned to Weir. "Tim? Rodney?"

"Tim is dead and Rodney is fine," Weir stated. "Thanks to you. I'm sorry that I didn't believe you, John. But you have to understand where I was coming from."

"I do." John let himself relax back against the pillows now that he knew Rodney was okay. He was glad about Tim being dead as well. The creature was another enemy they would have to look out for. "I'm sure I seemed crazy," he continued, managing a slight smile.

Carson patted his shoulder. "You have no idea, laddie. And the worst part is knowing how dangerous you could be if you were."

John knew that their fears had been justified, given the situation. He didn't care about that anymore. "So...when can I get out of here?" So much had happened and there were so many disjointed thoughts in his head. He wanted to discuss them with Rodney. He knew no one else would understand. At least not yet. Truth be told, John wasn't sure he understood it himself. His thoughts were chaotic and there was so much he needed to work out. He knew what had happened to him was important to the future of Atlantis.

"Don't be in such a rush to get out of here," Carson chided him. "You're not up to speed and you won't be for a while. You need to rest and you'll be glad you did." To the latter statement he added a warning glare.

"I've been resting long enough, don't you think?" John argued. "I feel fine." It was a bit of a lie because he felt worn out but there was so much he needed to do.

Weir patted his shoulder. "I need you one hundred percent, John. So do what the doctor orders. That's an order." She smiled to take the sting out of her words.

John sighed and was ready to protest, but anything he might have said was stifled by a jaw-cracking yawn. He covered his mouth then gave both Weir and Beckett a sheepish grin. "Guess I am tired."

"Let your body revive itself in its own time," Carson advised. "Take a nap and when you wake up I'll get you something to eat. Unless you want something now."

"No...I'm not hungry." Food was the last thing on John's mind. He felt his eyelids drifting closed and didn't fight it. He needed to be sharp and clear about what had happened and what it all meant, so he let himself slip off to sleep.

When John woke again, Beckett caught him trying to sneak out and threatened to restrain him again. So John behaved and stayed put, since one of the nurses kept watch on him. A huge tray of food was set before him and John waded through it, giving up about a third of the way through and earning a scowl from Beckett. He smiled back at the doctor, and asked about Rodney. John was told that McKay was working on something but would be by soon. And that he had visited twice while John had slept again. This time for almost ten hours. Some nap. While John waited for Rodney to appeared, he chatted with his other visitors, including Teyla and Ford and even Bates. Weir popped in as well. By the time he was left alone again, he felt ready for another nap and was almost dozing off when he heard a familiar voice. 

"What do you mean visiting hours are over? This isn't a real hospital? Besides...Carson told me I could pop in anytime." Rodney sounded a bit smug.

John grinned to listen to him then he heard footsteps approaching. "Hey, Rodney," he greeted him.

Rodney looked pleased to see him. "Major. You look better."

"I feel better." It was the truth. Even though he was still tired, John felt less worn out. "How are you doing?" John knew that Rodney had experienced quite the traumatic ordeal and he felt rather bad that everyone was fussing over him when Rodney was the one who had truly suffered.

"I'm...fine." Rodney looked surprised to be asked. "I'm not the one who connected with an alien. Speaking of which...can I ask you something?"

John nodded. "You can ask me anything."

Rodney smirked. "Right. But will you answer?"

"That's a maybe." John was happy to be bantering with Rodney again. It meant things were back to normal. Or as normal as it could get in Atlantis. John had pretty much cast normal to the wayside the moment he entered the Stargate back on Earth.

"Why did you do it?" Rodney blurted out, his expression rather grim.

John frowned. "Do what?"

Rodney paced a bit, wringing his hands. "Why did you offer to trade yourself to that creature?"

"To save you." John didn't hesitate to reply.

"Why?" Rodney stopped pacing and moved to the side of the bed, locking his eyes on Sheppard's face.

John could feel the intensity of Rodney's gaze and he knew that the question was important to Rodney. "You're worth saving," He said softly. "And you would have done the same for me."

Rodney shook his head. "I doubt it. You went through hell."

"That's what friends do."

"Heh...I wouldn't no." Rodney went back to pacing. "I've never had a friend. Not a real friend. I don't do friends...you know?"

John nodded. He understood. "Well...now you have a friend. If you want." 

Rodney shrugged. "Guess it won't hurt to see how it goes. I'm sure to piss you off to the point where you want to shoot me again."

"So?" John blinked at him, putting on his best innocent face while trying hard not to laugh.

"So...thanks." Rodney wasn't laughing.

John let his own smile fade. "For what?"

Rodney looked at him, directly. "For saving my life."

"You're welcome." John knew that this would be enough, and that it was time to change the subject. Neither one of them were comfortable with emotional issues. "Can I tell you something?"

"Is it something stupid?" Rodney was smirking now.

John made a face at him and this felt better. But at the same time he knew that he could trust Rodney with this. "It's about Tim and what happened while you were...sleeping."

Rodney pulled up the stool and sat down. "I'm listening."

So John told him about how Tim had touched him and he had relieved the past in those moments. How he had stood on Atlantis long ago. About the battle and the blond woman and how Tim's race had fought the Lantean's in the form of the Wraith.

"Sounds creepy," Rodney said when Sheppard was finished. And he shuddered as he said it.

"It was." John could easily flash back to the memories. They hadn't faded the way he thought they would have. "You know...at first I thought Tim and his kind were another enemy for us to look out for."

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Well...duh. He's definitely a bad guy." Another shudder went through him.

John knew that Rodney was relieving what he had experienced in his comatose-like state. "I'm not so sure that's true now," he continued. "I think maybe he was warning me. But why?"

"Who cares?" Rodney got up and started pacing again, as if working off nervous energy. "The thing is dead. End of story."

"What if it's just the beginning?" John had been thinking about this. Dreaming about it even and he wanted to see if he was crazy or not. And he knew that Rodney would be honest with him. "What if Tim's kind were afraid of the Wraith and wanted our help. Maybe that's what he was trying to do all along. Get us to help him?"

Rodney did not look convinced. "He could have tried asking first."

John shrugged. He didn't really have an answer for that and he could understand Rodney feeling the way he did after everything that had happened. 

"I'm glad he's dead!" Rodney's tone was sharp and almost defensive.

"I know." John would not argue the point. "But he showed me something."

Rodney hesitated and a glimmer of curiosity showed on his face. "What?"

John threw back the covers and slid his legs over the side of the bed. He was almost on his feet when a hand pressed against his chest to forestall him. "Let me up," John groused, trying to dislodge Rodney's hand. But he was still somewhat weakened and Rodney had a weight advantage that he was putting to good use.

"You're supposed to be resting."

"I've been resting for days. I'm tired of resting." John locked eyes with Rodney. "I have something to show you. Something important."

Rodney grimaced but pulled back, allowing Sheppard to stand up. He looked down. "You're wearing socks."

John had been looking around for his clothes but that stopped him. "So?"

"You're the only person I know who doesn't wear socks with his boots but wears them to bed?"

"I'm unique." John continued searching for something to wear other than the bright red scrubs that served as hospital attire on Atlantis. He would stand out like a sore thumb.

Rodney watched him. "What are you doing?"

John glared at him. "I need clothes."

"Try your room." Rodney rolled his eyes at the look Sheppard gave him. "Puh...lease, major. Carson is on to you. He won't let anyone bring you clothing because you might try to escape. And look...he was right."

"Shut up, Rodney." John was grinning as he said it. "Trust me...you're going to want to see this."

Rodney sighed as if put upon. "Fine, but if we get caught I'm so turning you in."

John didn't care. He gestured for Rodney to check the outer room and when Rodney signaled it was clear, they headed out.

"Where are we going?" Rodney asked, as they stepped out of the transporter, a few minutes later.

"Back to the chamber." John felt Rodney screech to a halt. He turned around and saw that the scientist was pale. "You okay?"

Rodney shook his head. "I'm not going back there. Forget it!" He was shaking.

John wanted to smack himself for being so clueless. "Sorry. I wasn't thinking. You don't have to come with me."

"No…I'll go." Rodney didn't sound very certain, but he started moving again, surging past Sheppard.

"You okay?" John asked, as he jogged to catch up.

Rodney shook his head. "No. But I'm not letting you go back there alone."

John gripped Rodney's shoulder, stopping them both. "Tim is dead. He can't hurt you again, Rodney."

"I know that...mostly." Rodney cleared his throat. "Look...if we're going to do this then let's do it. I'm sure Carson has put out an APB for you already."

"Good point." John winced then headed off with Rodney a step behind.

They reached the chamber room and entered slowly. The images from John's dream were very clear and he moved into the enclosed chamber and headed for the table. He realized Rodney had lagged behind. John turned to look at him. "You okay?"

Rodney shrugged. "Maybe. What did you want to show me?"

"This." John jumped up on the table, stretched out and closed his eyes. He heard Rodney move closer and a hand touched his arm. John looked at him. "I'm fine. Watch." He closed his eyes again, focused, and felt himself reaching out to the city. And then it happened. He made the connection and John felt his body begin to tingle.

"Major..." Rodney began, only he fell silent as a silvery light formed around Sheppard. And then it happened. The chamber came alive. The very walls began to glow with light and Rodney could feel vibrations under his feet. "Oh...my...God." He was wearing his ear piece and there was a crackle of static and then,

"Rodney? Are you there?" Weir's tone was sharp.

Rodney tapped his ear. "I'm here and…yes…Major Sheppard is with me."

A moment of silence then Weir said, "What's going on, Rodney? Everything is lighting up...everywhere. It's like the city is coming alive."

"It is," Rodney whispered.

"Do you know why? Or how?"

Rodney looked at Sheppard's still form. "Yeah...I've got a good idea."

A snort from Weir's end. "Care to share it?"

"I'll check in with you soon and explain everything. Maybe." Rodney tapped off then reached out to touch Sheppard, his hand moving through the light and it felt warm and almost tingly. "Cool," Rodney whispered, as he realized what this meant. Major Sheppard was the key to powering Atlantis. He touched the major's shoulder and watched as john's eyes opened. "Are you okay?" Rodney asked, wondering if Sheppard could hear him.

"I'm good." As he spoke, John sat up and the light continued to glow around him. He looked at the chamber then at Rodney. "So...what do you think?"

Rodney almost smiled. "I think I'm jealous."

John chuckled. "Besides that. Can we use this to fight the Wraith?"

"That depends. What else can you do?"

"Let's find out, shall we?" John countered. And when Rodney smiled back, for the first time since he had awakened the Wraith, John felt hope for the future of Atlantis.

THE END


End file.
